I Ain’t Loyal

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On your journey to the best version of you, there will be things, people, ideas, ideologies that you will have to let go of in order to step into the next phase of your identity. This letting go will be a consistent theme throughout your life if you are evolving. Releasing things that do not serve you can be one of the hardest things to do for several reasons.


Those who know this current version of you are unrelenting in their oblivious insistence that you remain familiar to them. Change is hard on everyone, and humans have this sense of entitlement to sameness of everything around them. Shifting, stretching, growing up or out in the presence of those who see you as one thing is. . . .uncomfortable and intimidating.


You can’t be sure this next phase works. Putting on a version of you that hasn’t been tested is daunting. The thing is you will never have the opportunity to “test” a higher version of yourself. When it’s authentic, you move differently. You understand yourself at a deeper level. This ability to go deeper is powerful. New power is exciting and scary and . . . .what if you mess up?

Separation Anxiety

Your next phase allows you to go further. You have access to people, places, opportunities, ideas, and knowledge that you didn’t before. This means there may be an unsettling distance between you and the people, places, opportunities, and ideas you used to entertain. You don’t know what it’s like to enter certain doors where no one or few people that you know will greet you. You don’t know what it’s like to have an overbooked calendar. You don’t know what it feels like to be 10x more productive and no one to relate to. You don’t know what it’s like to shop in a different section or to not have to take those meds. You don’t know what it’s like to have more time freedom. See all the attachments?


You feel a sense of duty. You would not have gotten where you are without all the things that make the current you. . . .you. Your job, those orgs you worked with, those clients who no longer (or never did) fit your ideal client profile, the church you joined randomly when you moved to a new city. They all had a place and part to play in getting you here.

Sentimental Value

This is by far one of the (if not the) biggest barriers to you moving into the next phase of your identity. There is no rhyme or reason as to why you hold onto certain things. You just do. Letting them go feels like a personal assault to who you are. This usually has NOTHING to do with who or how you are, but rather with what you DO. We are so used to doing doing doing that we often miss our greatest opportunities to BE.

So How Can You Get Past This?

The question you need to ask yourself is this: Are the things I’m holding onto going to serve me WELL in my next phase?

Then resolve to dissolve your loyalty to

  • ideas
  • ideals
  • patterns
  • words
  • schools of thought
  • people
  • groups
  • orgs
  • habits
  • places
  • rituals
  • traditions
  • foods
  • tools
  • companies
  • clients
  • (add whatever else you want here)

that don’t serve you in this next phase of your identity. Drop me a line below and let me know what you are no longer giving your undue loyalty to.

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